AVGN: All right, I haven't played this one in a while, so, let's give it a chance. All right, well, this is really an inconvenience, having to search for stuff. Look at this, you go around and you search for things. "Searching... it's empty". It's so slow. Now, this is kinda fun though, you get to punch people. I'm gonna beat up Roger Rabbit now. YEAHHH. The only thing that's really annoying is that it takes so long to charge that punch. AUGHHHHHH! You know what? It isn't fun. You know, it just isn't at all. It's just a pain in the fucking ass. "Can you help me?" "Go away, you horrid man!" How 'bout "Go away, you HORRID GAME!"
Driving the car is really annoying because the controls are so awkward. Then, these weasels catch you and they make you solve riddles. And they're always the stupidest riddles, too, like, "What animal can you never trust?" "A cheetah." And how is this cat gonna kill you? And look at this! Th-this is the longest password ever! It wouldn't have killed them to make this any shorter. It takes forever! Like, why should any game take like, ten minutes to type in the fucking password?
So, then you go into this nightclub and you find Jessica Rabbit, and then, she tells you to go find her phone number, like she can't just give it to you. So, you go around and you search every table until you found it. And then, you know, I was looking all over this game, like, where is there a phone where you can actually call her? And it wasn't until much later, when I grew up, that I found out you're really supposed to call her.
(The Nerd is talking to Jessica Rabbit on her phone.)
Is this Jessica Rabbit? Well, I got your number and I'm calling just to say "FUCK YOU!"
Jessica Rabbit: I hope you're proud of yourself?!
AVGN: Yeah, well, I hope you're proud of yourself, and you know what I mean, you fucking whore.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
AVGN: Yeah, well, wait until I draw your suicide note in your own blood, you bunny fucking bitch. I'm coming over and I'm gonna kill you. I'm going gonna kill your whole motherfucking family.
All right, well, now I got that out of my system, let's continue with the game. So, you go into the stores, and the way you buy stuff is ridiculous. You go up and then you have to, like, go through all of your items until you select the wallet. Use the wallet, and then, this item drops down and you go pick it up. Now, there's only one item for sale at a time, so you have to leave the store, then, you come back in and there's something different there. So, if you're looking for something in particular, you have to keep leaving the store and coming back in. Like, imagine if in real life, like, if I walked into a liquor store and I wanted Rolling Rock, and all they had there was Budweiser sitting on a box next to the counter, so then, I would have to leave, then, I would have to come back in again, and then there's something else, and I would have to keep walking in and out the door until I get what I want. It's just, like, what were they thinking?
So you finally get the dynamite, and you come over to blow up this brick wall, and watch this, it's probably the best explosion ever. (PMMMMMM) Yeah, look at that. That was pathetic. So then, you get to Judge Doom, and he's like, impossible. And, most of the things you have are just useless. You have a gun which really doesn't do anything. You know what? I'm not even gonna punish myself anymore with this piece of shit. All right, the game sucks. End of story. I want to nail Roger Rabbit to the fucking cross.