("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to The Ultimate Stuntman appears on the 24 ornament, along with shit.)
The Ultimate Stuntman for NES. Somebody clearly wanted to make the most muscularing cover ever. Guns, sports cars, throwed all in! The meatheaded message seems to be clear. Gun + car = AWESOME. This is no ordinary stuntman. This is The Ultimate Stuntman! Is this the guy who does stunt work? Or... does he go around shooting bad guys? It's stuntman turned action hero. Noticed the big bird which is partly obscured by the words. It's holding a star as if to deliver it to the man. And something is randomly exploding behind him, just to break up the monotony. There wasn't enough going on. How about the car? Well, it's a car which makes perfect sense when just to pose against the squid...oh, wah, WHAT?! A FUCKING SQUID? What is it doing? Halfway of it hidden near the man's crotch! He's so macho, he's holdin' up the squeed with his dick. AUGH..God, I ca...I...I just can't! Lookin' at it all at once! It's hitting my brain too hard! Let's view it just a bit at a time.
Okay, Ultimate Stuntman... A bird... action guy... I get it, I-i with it still...uh... woh...okay, okay. That's where I draw the line. If awesome overload was the whole point, then where's the hot chick? Where's the sunglasses, the dinosaurs, or robots? I don't think they got enough stuff on here. Look at all the wasted space. This is one of those unlicensed game. It's one of those gold cartridges. The squidd gets mostly cut off. If you have the cartridge without the box, you would be wondering what the hell that is! On the back it says "Do not drop. Do not get wet. Do not leave in direct sunlight." Can you fit it after midnight? Then there's that weird switch. What is that do? "Position B. Only use this position if the game does not work with position A." Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.