("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Street Hockey '95 appears on the 12 ornament, along with shit.)
(The Nerd stares at the box art in disgust, looks and the camera and points at the easel.) This is Street Hockey '95 for Super Nintendo. So let me guess, they didn't know if it was going to be a fighting game or a hockey game so they got Lil Jon and asked him and he said "WHAT?!" so they went with a font and color scheme to imitate Street Fighter and asked him to do an impossible levitating kick and then he said "OKAY!!" but okay wasn't good enough so they added hockey elements and then he said "YEAH!!" This is like MTV regurgitated all over a Super Nintendo box! I don't get any of this! What's with the Barbie doll girl? That mask he's wearing? That mean dog on the cover? Just to prepare you. Warning: this game is badass, woof woof. There's nothing correct about any of the sizes. Is the girl small? Is the alley enormous? Is the man giant? Is that his shadow? Why doesn't the girl have a shadow? Why was she pasted in last minute and for a game about hockey, there's very little hockey equipment on the cover. That stick he's holding is awkwardly turned so it might as well be a canoe paddle. I like the way he's pointing at you as if saying "Yeah, you want to play this, you know you do." You know you're going to be coming back for Street Hockey '96 and '97... which never happened, although there were other Street Sports games like Jammit, yeah, I'll tell you where you can jam it.
The game used the multi-player adapter Hudson Super Multitap, just in case you'd ever want to play Street Hockey '95 with four people at a time. As soon as anybody sees that cover they go "Oooh okay okay, that's fine!".