(The Nerd walks towards the camera, past the box art for The Mystery of the Druids, Horace & The Spiders, Tuff E Nuff and Bad Cat)
Welcome to the art gallery. Here, we'll be looking at video game cover art. There's a saying, "Don't judge a book by its' cover", which is true. Sometimes, the cover does not accurately represent the work that is inside, however, the cover is a work of art in itself and it's the first thing you see. It was especially important in the old days because we didn't have the Internet to tell us what the game is like. The cover had to tell us everything, so it's about time we gave game cover art the attention it's due. Usually, we sit down and play the actual games to review them in depth and that's all fine, we will do that, you will see a new Nerd episode in time for Christmas but since it's the season of giving, I'll be giving you a litte something extra. Every day until Christmas, we'll be observing some of the most exquisitly BAD works of art from game history.
("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Pro Wrestling appears on the 1 ornament, along with shit.)
Pro Wrestling for the Sega Master System. Absolutely stunning, this work is all about irony. In the sense that it uses the term "Pro" for professional, yet goes for an amateurish style. The background grid paper is reminiscent of the graph paper used in school for math and geometry. Students always doodle on that paper, right? and I don't mean they doodle on it, I mean they.. they... shit on it.. I mean they scribble on it, okay? Anyway, it looks like something a bored student would draw during class when they're supposed to be doing their work. The most striking thing about the cover is the wrestler who has no head, yet is doing a chokehold on a head. Is it his own head or somebody else's? Whatever the case, it's a very non-traditional wrestling move, once again, it's ironic that the cover is so traditional with the same font and background as other Sega Master System Games. They all have a uniformed look but this wrestler, who stands outside the corner of the game box, his method goes literally off the grid.
Let's assume he is wrestling his own head: It's body vs. head. It depicts the internal struggle of brains against brawn, the wrestler who develops his muscle over mind shows that muscle is winning the battle and after all, the term "professional wrestling" implies the staged form of wrestling, to entertain at the audience's suspension of disbelief. Can we suspend our disbelief? (The Nerd crosses his arms and shakes his head) Or does this cover make no fucking sense?!
(The episode ends and a teaser for the Nightmare episode of Board James is shown, which will be uploaded on December 4, 2015. Board James walks out holding the Nightmare board on as Bootsy and Motherfucker Mike watch in fear.)
Board James: This is the end of my game, but the beginning of your nightmare!
(A montage of sneak peeks from the episode are shown, ending with Board James dressed as a doctor and Bootsy hanging from a noose in the background)
Board James: We're just playing a game of Hangman.
Bad Luck Bootsy: I was hoping we were gonna play Candy Land.