("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Mega Man appears on the 2 ornament, along with shit.)
Mega Man for NES (The Nerd stares wide-eyed at the box art on the easel and faces back to the camera) Splendid. This is what you call a work of fine art. This is the expression of an artist's nightmare as he finds himself stranded in a homemade mustard and blue spacesuit surrounded by radioactive asses and tropical sci-fi land. The dollar store brand colored pencil art style is meant to give the sense of the childish feeling of pre-adolescent fears and tension.
And that's why they held an art contest in Nintendo Power magazines for kids to submit their own designs, and then they pick the winner. But that's not true, I just made that up. What actually happened was they picked the loser.
You have this proportionally incorrect and aesthetically awful human figure that shrunk down to a minor detached element in the overall composition, framed by rounded corners to be framed within glowing neon grids to be framed within the enclosing canvas. If you even have a chance to look at what's going on, you'll see Mega Man has no neck, and is wearing shoulder pads as if to deliberately hide his head like a turtle. He's cowardly shrinking into his own suit as you can see by the wrinkly, over-sized sleeves. With the way his body is like leaning, it's kinda like he's doing a dance like "Hey, look at me! I'm hip, I'm cool. Check me out!"
Look at that tired, weepy pathetic face which is no more intimidating than the way he's holding his gun. You're looking down the barrel, yet he's pointing the gun to the side and wait, wait... a GUN?! Doesn't Mega Man have an arm cannon? Oh. Never mind. That's just in case you ever happened to have played the game before, you know, Mega Man. (Sarcastically) Whoever played Mega Man? Certainly not the people who designed the cover. (The box art for Mega Man 2 is shown) Well, for Mega Man 2, they got a better artist and apparently gave them much more time, but why is Mega Man still holding a gun and why is his foot turned like he broke his ankle? Look at Crash Man giving a lap dance to Dr. Light. Look at him feeling up that thigh. (The box art to the European Mega Man 2 is shown) And what about the European Mega Man 2? What is going on there? Is that his arm, or a hovering bowling pin? Or I don't know, some kind of vaginal ultrasound thing?
(The box art to Mega Man 3 is shown) In Mega Man 3, he's blasting a robot right in the crotch. He's smiling, and looking at h-he's looking right at the crotch, like he know's what he's doing. (The box art to Mega Man 4 is shown) In Mega Man 4, he's jumping off a cliff while Pharaoh Man is standing on top of the fortress.. on TOP of the fortress. (The box art to Mega Man 9 is shown) By the time they got to Mega Man 9, which was a downloadable game that didn't even need a cover, they were like "Yeah, we get it. It's a joke now. Ha ha."