("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Hell Fighter appears on the 18 ornament, along with shit.)

Hell Fighter for NES. Is that a title or what? HELL FIGHTER. I like the way the title zooming into the foreground, glistening like shiny steel. That's the way you do it. Without much else to look at besides a plain blue background, let's get straight to the point. It's simply a naked man holding a skull. Has this guy been doing some bodybuliding or what? He's so buffed that his muscles take on alien features! Look how pointed his knee is and his hand completely disappears into the light aura of the skull. The skull is not very pronounced, the glow needs more transparency so you can make it out. Why is he hoilding a skull, anyway? He's staring at it like, 'YEAH, I LIKE DEATH.' The crotch's bulging out from a tiny underwear which is conveniently covered by the text oval. Somebody clearly looked at it and said, 'we can't show that. Cover it up,' which makes me wonder has anyone seen the original art? Hmm. Even the Japanese version blocked out the crotch. The whole world would saying, 'hey, man. PUT ON SOME DAMN PANTS.'

The Sword looks like it's sticking his ass. He has no belt. Nothing to strap the sword onto, unless you buy that it's hanging on the back of his dung. It's in his ass! You heard the sword in the stone? This is SWORD IN THE ASS! He shits green rocks. What do you expect? The guy is so macho all he eats is stones and minerals. He shits them out, and the dragon's licking out' em like, 'yum yum.' Oh, God.. (Nerd frowns) Hell Fighter? Looks like hell of me!

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