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Transcript of AVGN Bad Game Cover Art - Hammerin' Harry

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("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays and ornaments numbered 1-25 are seen on a Christmas tree. A raspberry sound is heard and the cover to Hammerin' Harry appears on the 22 ornament, along with shit.)

Hammerin' Harry for NES. A symbol of testosterone. This guy is Mr. macho right here. This is the manliest man ever! 'MY COCK IS SO HARD!' What's with the Rambo headband? and his eye that's off-center. Weird.

Looking him screaming out the side of his mouse like Sylvester Stallone. On the cartridge, it looks like he's trying to hump the text and logos, just as he is about to bash your face with the Donkey Kong sledgehammer. This guy is crazy! He's wrestling bears, drinking gasoline, riding on a bull on a highway, playing baseball with his cock! He just went mantle and started a rampage through a construction area. All the workers are falling to their doom. Look at the poor guy still holding his jackhammer as he plumb it from the top of the building. Notice that Harry wearing the Irem logo on his belt buckle. Remember when Mario wore a Nintendo shirt? No, I don't think that ever happened, at least not on the cover. You know, this game was originally an arcade game in Japan and it was ported to the Famicom first. Why didn't they just use the artwork from the Famicom version? Ah, it's gotta be fucking American! An macho! I like how the title has a white box behind it. As if it wouldn't have stood out enough in front of the blue sky. It looks like they forgot to put it there. And then at the last minute, right before when to the printers, somebody looked at it and 'oh, fuck! We gotta put the title on there! Quick! Quick! Take it from instruction manual or something! Hurry, cut it out! Slap it on there! Hammerin' Harry, a guy you don't wanna fuck with.

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