"For the past ten years, I've been on a mission to warn the world of shitty games. And in all those years, this one takes the cake. I think I've finally hit the bottom of the barrel!"
- The Nerd
Desert Bus is a driving mini game that is part of the unreleased game, Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors. The game was unreleased due to the game's developers, Absolute Entertainment, becoming defunct. It was planned to be released on consoles such as the Sega CD, the 3DO, PC, and etc. The Desert Bus mini game involves a bus driver (the player) driving from Tucson to Las Vegas for an excruciating amount of time. Before it was cancelled, a Desert Bus contest was held, where the grand prize was a trip to see a Penn and Teller show. Many have bashed the game for its incredibly dull and ridiculous concept. Penn and Teller have explained that the game was supposed to jokingly simulate real life, in response to the controversy of violence in video games. It's been estimated that the full game takes up to eight hours and only one point is given. Ever since its discovery, Desert Bus has gained popularity. A charity called Desert Bus for Hope was created, a remake called Desert Bus VR was created in 2017, gamers such as Vargskeletor and The Nerd played and reviewed it. It's been called one of the worst games ever created.
Gameplay[]
What the game mainly consists of
The game starts with rock music showing that the player is a bus driver who has to drive from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada. You have to start up the bus first, then you have to hold the A button to drive the bus for about eight hours and nothing else. The player drives in a desert setting that never changes, only cacti, rocks, and stop signs add to the setting. There is no music and the only sound effect is the bus driving on the road. You can also open the doors by pressing the B button. Occasionally, a bug will splatter on the windshield. The bus slowly veers to the right, so the player must constantly hold the left button. If the bus goes into the dirt, a tow truck comes and takes you back to Tucson. The time you've been driving will take the tow truck the same amount of time to get back. You are unable to pause the game, and if you do, the horn goes off. After completing the eight hour drive, you only receive one point. The highest score you can achieve is 99 points, which means the player has to keep playing for 33 days.
AVGN Episode[]
The Nerd putting up the scent tree
The episode was created to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Angry Video Game Nerd. It starts with the Nerd saying he's been called to review a game worse than Big Rigs. He explains that Desert Bus is a mini game which is part of the game, Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors. He calls the main game strange and abstract, similarly to the main stars, Penn and Teller. He concludes by saying that it's worth it by watching Penn and Teller clips. He starts Desert Bus, expecting that afterwards he'll watch a Penn and Teller show. After playing for mere seconds, he's completely shocked at how extremely boring the game is. He complains that there is nothing you can do in the game, besides steering the bus or opening the doors. He freaks out when he finds out that the whole game takes eight hours to complete. He also criticizes the game for being unable to pause, showing that he needs to continually drive. After complaining, he reaches for a drink, but doesn't want to be drunk while playing. He also hangs a scent tree.
He finds out that you only get one point after completing the game. He compares the game to Andy Warhol's film, Empire. He explains that there was going to be a Desert Bus contest before the game was unreleased. He says that occasionally a bug will splatter on your windshield, hoping to God that it'll happen. The Nerd comes up with an idea to put pliers on the A button to let the game drive by itself. But when the Nerd leaves, the bus slowly steers to the right, which makes the bus get stuck in the dirt. The Nerd comes back trying to stop it, but it's too late. A tow truck comes and takes the bus back to Tucson. The Nerd concludes saying it's one of the worst games he's ever played, due to its boredom and other minor flaws. Knowing that the game has grown in popularity, the Nerd decides to retire after failing to warn the world of the game. A montage is shown of clips of past Angry Video Game Nerd episodes. But he stops by his game shelf to find a fan made hack of Castlevania II, deciding to play it to hopefully end the series. However, he's astounded to find major improvements, such as useful hints, fast texts, and better graphics. After seeing the red crystal hint in the game, the Nerd decides to not retire after seeing that his message has been heard. The Nerd hopes to find something bigger than what he's ever done, hinting at the Angry Video Game Nerd Movie.